Having relocated to the Thames mudflats for their final game of the season, the IIs welcomed champions elect, Old Sedcopians, to the Grist fortress for the end of season promotion party (confirmed at the time of print).

Chairman Nutt and groundsman Grewal (armed with Mrs Kuldeep’s best Sunday towel) did their best to remove the swimming pool of sewer nicely positioned at the heart of the Tiff pitch, and having been given the green light from the Chairman after months of good behaviour and positive progress reports the IIs donned the elusive all white uniform and took to the pitch for the last game of the 15/16 season.

Kick off – it didn’t take the white lightenings long to get into their stride, a good piece of play leading to a corner. A typical Avery set piece, baffling Tiffs and oppo alike, and according to some spectators bouncing “at least seven or eight times”, squirmed its way through to Mortimer (two face Charlie as he was soon to be known) for his obligatory corner play strike score. One – nil.

Chances continued for the wizards in white until late in the half when a power ball of a pass out the back of the Ts defence was seized on and after a cross field ball that Avery could only dream of, Ryu’s weedier brother was there to calmly finish. 1-1. The remainder of the half past with little…Sammarco!!!! rejected. Half time.

The second half can only be described as a rout. Even with Kuldeep’s internal struggles of which colour to pass to, the white knights forged ahead with a cross from Sammarco (that Avery could only dream of), finished powerfully by the head of a marauding Thommo. 2 quickly became 3 with a Bettis shot being turned in by the head, yes head, of a very surprised Avery. The fourth goal was one for the fans, a last hooray, the final shebang, the bobs your uncle, Sammarco and Thommo again linking up with a wonderful bit of play, finished by Thommo whipping the ball into the far corner. Whispers of a final touch were heard, the “destroyer of football” was banded around willy nilly. No dice. Two for Thommo and a class goal to round of a class season for the IIs.

See you in division 5 next year boys!!!!!