Box Hill, as the tour guides say, is an ideal setting for a festive football romp. The day began with suspiciously still warm mulled Lucosade delivered by the OTFC vocal fans section also known as Luke Peake. This was topped up with a cunning incentivisation scheme by Mr Edwards. shot-for-a-shirt, with sloe gin and free kidney disease in a Tesco value bottle, was enjoyed by all.
Dicky Floyd Bostelbank’s pre game speech of “4-4-2, (extended pause for dramatic effect)… It’s windy” set the tone for a vintage scrappy opening 10 minutes which saw subtle glimmers of seasonal sparkle with Dickenson, Avery and Bettis connecting well down the left. Sloe Gin Sally, or John Edwards as he used to be known, was on the end of a header begging to be scored but alcohol is a dangerous drug.
Mr Mortimer was omnipresent and omipotent in the opening half, winning header after header and crunching 50-50s. Some excellent interplay saw Mortimer on the end of a good ball across his body seeing him bury it lowly and slowly to the keepers bottom left. 1-0 OTFC.
The defensive line remained stoic up to half time and Manuel Pellidickerini’s tactics were keeping micks well outside the Tiffs box.
After the break, Tiffin were on the back foot. Tragedy struck on the hour when Hobbsy took a tumble, got a boo boo on his shoulder and had to be subbed off for Dave “slutty skin tight top” Bettis. Time and again the goal kicks landed at the feet of the oppo but OTs defence anchored by Kuldeep had seen it all before. Andy managed to rouse a cry of see you next Tuesday from a Mickle ham striker, enjoyed by all. Col ran tirelessly and his efforts were rewarded with a well finished goal, gifted by the Mickleham defence.
2-0 at the death and some solid defence performances all round. Will “Bruce” Forsyth was rolling back the years up the hill and into the wind. Dicky and Brant among others put in a shift.
Personally the writer would like to thank Tom “nipples” Nichols for his generosity in the fines, appreciated by all at the Xmas social.
MOTM went to Mortimer, earning himself the badge on the shirt.
Tiffs’ run up the league continues.