After four months of [redacted] OTFC 1s made their way to [redacted] with minds and bodies refreshed. After a quick tour of the local landmarks (chairman’s house, goalkeeper’s house, sewage works, back to chairman’s house) the team congregated and embarked on a vigorous warm up as the skipper attempted to draw up a plan to rotate without ending up with four right backs on the pitch at once (a task Gareth Southgate will inevitably struggle with in the summer).

The first game began with [redacted] looking [redacted] and [redacted] barking instructions like he’d never been away. [redacted] started the game with a remarkable amount of coordination and energy, particularly given the night he’d spent with [redacted] and her [redacted], and the terrifying quantity of [redacted] he’d allegedly consumed before the game.

After some uncharacteristically high pressing from [redacted] the first big chance of the game fell to [redacted], who saw his effort sail harmlessly over the [redacted], but the signs were promising the for the men in [redacted]. The game was even throughout, with [redacted] making some sharp saves, and the least surprising moment of the day arrived 20 mins in with [redacted] dropping to his knees in tears and begging to be substituted for a breather.

The game continued in a similar pattern – quite a bit of running, a lot of heavy breathing, not a lot of good kicking – until 10 mins from the end, when [redacted], [redacted], [redacted], [redacted], [redacted], [redacted], [redacted], [redacted], [redacted] and most of all, [redacted] were caught high up the pitch gasping for air, unable to get back and stop Kings taking the lead on the break.

The first game of the double header finished 1-0, leading to our old friend “that’s what can happen when we don’t take our chances” being muttered and nodded along to sagely at half time.

With this in mind going into game two, absolutely no chances were created or missed – real progress. The ball was trod on a lot (RIP [redacted]), big throughies were so big they were almost unrecognisable, and Kings controlled the game devoid of any quality with a goal in each half.

Better days will be had on the pitch, but after 4 months off it was just nice to treat ourselves to a spot of good, old fashioned, harmless [redacted] in the sunshine


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