Having uttered the password and gained entry through security we were delighted to find the pitch at the Bank of England was in immaculate condition, so there would be no excuses for anyone not to play decent football. Kinchin was reading his Thesaurus so ruled himself out!

Tiffs started the better, no sign of Kent who was MIA. The back four looked strong Naylor, Jones, Scott and Markham. The midfield of Harry, Ridgeway, Bessa and Leary were providing good ball to McGregor and Chanawala up front. The Bank of England were opened up with good crosses from both sides. Ridgeway’s corner was headed clear, but only to the edge of the box were the waiting Naylor volleyed it straight into the top corner. Unbelievable, Naylor was more surprised than the rest of the team. Kent had missed it, and there was even talk of goal of the season. Easy, wait for the vote (85th minute, Double H away, 6-11-2021)!

In a separate competition “Worst Overhead kick of the season” Leary’s effort was better than that of Phelps, from earlier in the season, put just went wide.

Chanawala through on goal was felled with a big kick to the shins, a certain penalty to everyone hearing the kick in SW15, apart from the ref who waved play on. It was a stonewall Hadrian would have been proud of. Taking this opportunity Bank of England broke forward and their left footed number 10 smashed in an equalizer off the post with their only opportunity of the half. All square at the turn! Kent had finally remembered the password and security had let him in too!

The second half started badly; 2 quick goals saw their 10 complete his hat-trick. Ridgeway and Chanawala off injured. Diz appears to be a Gaffar who will do anything for the team, laying down in the mud he opened his own massage parlour on the side-line giving out all kinds of therapies, while serving oranges and Chai. Ridgway was beyond repair; another one bites the dust! Rotating his squad saw Kent and Baile on in midfield and Tiffs pulled one back. McGregor’s cultured left foot driving the ball home from distance. He is an immaculate player, although does remind me of Mr Sugden, the PE teacher in Kes!

Their number 5 looked a little like Father Christmas and by the end of the game he was well into the roll, throwing his toys all over the place! Ridgeway was able to open a Young Savers Account for Owens before leaving the bank.

As Tiff’s pushed on Bank of England got a fourth. Tiff’s had more joy being direct. The long-awaited return of Seabrook saw him through on goal but he was unable to convert on his first appearance this season. Despite all our efforts there were no more goals. Scott at left back is your scribe’s POTM. Comfortable on the ball, always willing to receive it and had the left-hand side locked down all game.

Harry wants an improvement in fitness, next week’s curry and beers should help!

Player of the Match brought to you by Smart Kids in Town

Scott