fine /fɅIn/ v.2 ME. [f. FINE n.1] I 1 a v.t. Pay as a penalty, ransom, or composition. ME-L16. b v.i. Pay a penalty, ransom, or composition, spec. to avoid the duties of an office. (Foll. by for, off.) MI6 – MI8. 2 v.i. Pay for a privilege or appointment. Obs. exc. Hist. MI6. 3 a v.i. Pay a sum on renewal or tenure. Only in LI7. b v.t. Foll. by down, off: secure the reduction of (rent) by paying a lump sum. obs. exc. Hist. EI8

Fines Committee:

A fines committee can be made up of anyone – generally two people, one to handle fines the other to deputise and to handle appeals, the requisite qualification being only a nature verging on the sadistic. Fines committees are always appointed (often self-appointed) and always respected. Power is everything. There are a number of OTFC Fines Committees. Officially; each team has one… then there are events… it therefore goes without saying that new committees must be formed – tours, society golf days, tournaments to name a few.

Fines:

Value – £0.25

A brief rundown of the types of fines you may find yourself at the mercy of… some are self-explanatory, some less so:

  • Lateness
  • Incorrect kit – fine per garment
  • Clear cut chance – can be from your own half if deemed “it was on”
  • Bambi – has legs, but an inability to use them
  • Handbags
  • Foul throw
  • Air shot/kick/tackle
  • No shower
  • Browsing – another shower related fine
  • Social no-show
  • Mid-Season holiday
  • Anything the Fines Committee may feel worthy of a penalty fare

Note; conduct of guests/WAGS/parents watching affects the player’s fines – only a club member can be fined.

There are in fact an infinite number of ways to find yourself in the fines book some fair, mostly not, but that’s why we have an appeals process.

Appeals:

There is a strict process of appeal when a player feels unduly fined. An appeal is made to the committee and a decision of appeal will be returned to the player, the matter can also be referred to the player’s skipper where there is a split decision in the Fines Committee, the outcome is always the same – doubling of the original value. The fine may be rescinded on appeal, but (of course) the player will almost certainly find himself with another two fines to contend… “goody-two-shoes” and “not conducting oneself in the spirit of the Fines Committee”… and there we have it £0.50 in the book.

Tactics:

A player will realise very quickly that he will be fined. He will also realise that how much money he parts with is often out of his control, there are however a few tactics occasionally deployed…

Should he manage to negotiate a match day without wearing anything outside the taste of the Fines Committee, be on time, play well, not miss, have a drink, be involved in the after game banter and shower, he will find himself in the realms of a “goody-two-shoes” at this point the merest hint of a weakness will be found and the floodgates can open.

Self-nomination is a worthy negotiation tactic to ensure savings, but, this can lead to over-enthusiasm and disastrous consequences.

Remaining quiet whilst the committee is in full flow can also scupper chances – this is a frowned upon tactic.

A tactic most rewarded and applauded is to be absent whilst buying a jug for the table. A selfless act of fine dodging! Be warned though in your absence the committee may be in full flow without your knowing.

The final tactic and most dangerous (sympathy) can be to arrive late, have a terrible game, not shower, forget your shorts, stare too much and comment on how good your team mates look… this is called getting it out the way…sympathy for a one-off fines haul can carry for a few matches… can… or did once… a few years back…

Misc.:

Fines monies are simply a re-distribution of wealth. The Fines Committee is a not for profit organisation, all monies paid into the committee are utilised for social functions… all the more reason to celebrate the wondrous insight of the Fines Committee.