With a week off from league fixtures and no cup game to be played, OTFC 3s player/manager Edgar announced a previously unheard of wet-weather training camp. 21 brave footballers and 5 rugby players answered the call. They packed up their belongings, said goodbye to their loved ones and headed back to the trenches at Fort Grists.

The idea of any inter-club friendly is to answer questions about your squad; would Bailey, the right footed left winger make a better right back? Does Khaj have what it takes to trouble Detective Lundie at the back? Maybe a goalkeeper who hasn’t played in goal since he was 12 might still have what it takes? Edgar was looking for answers to all of these questions. What he got however were simply more questions, and here for your pleasure is a not exhaustive list of those questions:

  1. Did Marcos put his clocks back a day early?
  2. Should Khaj ever take a penalty again?
  3. Does Jez cover more ground as a referee or a midfielder?
  4. Was Owen Kirk (vc) on time for his date and will there be a second?
  5. How come rugby players can play football but footballers can’t play rugby?
  6. Can the kit man get the mud out of 26 shirts in one week?
  7. Was this Adeys best performance in an Old Tiffs Shirt?
  8. How does Griff do that shuffle to beat 2 men?
  9. Has Al Cunningham secretly been a centre-back all along?
  10. Is there an appeals process for Tom Flynn to claim back 2 own goals?
  11. Does the earring make Harry look more or less like mid-90s George Michael?
  12. What exactly does Aaron Elwood use in his hair and where can we get it?
  13. Will George ever put in more or less than a 7/10 performance?
  14. Who wears the trousers in the Lundie household?
  15. Will Fionas ear infection clear up in time for next weeks game?
  16. Did Fiona say yes last week?
  17. Will Adeys proposed house move go through?
  18. Was it offside?
  19. Does the chairman have what it takes to challenge for a spot in the 3s squad?
  20. Will Frode survive 2 weeks of Norwegian quarantine? (see you next year)
  21. Will rookie right-back Rob Palmer’s toenail grow back in time for next weeks game?
  22. Will a 3s team wearing purple ever win again?
  23. How do we stop the communication issue between the phone and I-zettle machine?
  24. Will Detective Lundie really get Sams face tattooed on himself if we win the league?
  25. Who is the “Good Looking one” out of Jez and Tom? Like, Share, Subscribe
  26. Who would win out of Aaron and Dylan?
  27. Would the 2s have won today with Mos in their team?
  28. Could Connor be the answer to the question of who plays in goal next week?
  29. Why didn’t Matt Baileys nose receive any votes for MOTM?
  30. Who will write next weeks match report if I run out of ideas?

If you or anyone you know has the answers to these, or any other questions please send them on a postcard.

Final Score: The Good Guys 4 – 4 The Purple Perils (Good Guys win 6-5 on penalties)


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Dylan “The Housewives Favourite” Brillante.