Amateur football is in its element on a wet Saturday morning. The pre match chat seems to be more frequent when it’s chucking it down outside. Normally, there is no sign of being pumped for the game, more people asking (seemingly hopefully) whether the game has been called off. This weekend, however, was different. Boris and his team, had leaked rumours, that lockdown 2.0 might be on the cards, and so everyone was very aware that this might be their last chance to play football for the foreseeable future.

The squad was strong, once again with the addition of Fuse from the 2s (although he has possibly played more games for the 1s than 2s this season) and returns from Hucks after two weeks of not wanting it, and KOW after 10 weeks of really not wanting it. Other than some notable absences of our goal scorers in previous games, the squad was strong. With ex-captain Forsyth sidelined, Gary Kimber took charge of the squad.

As mentioned, it was wet, very wet, but the lads in purple, all turned up to Cheam Sports Club with good time, and took the familiar position of getting changed by the side of the pitch. Not only were there 13 good guys, there were also a handful of spectators, led by season ticket holder Tim Robini.

The good guys set out with a decent warm up of touch testers and attempted nutmegs, while the home team slowly arrived. Will in boots, but not of the football kind, looked on in despair at the fact he couldn’t join in, while his other half Alice, looked on in despair at the fact she had been dragged down in the pouring rain, to be abandoned by Will as he tried his best to get Kimber’s autograph.

After the warm up stepped up a notch, and the opposition swept the puddle from in front of one of the goals, the game kicked off. A big shout out to Fuse, who started as sub, and decided the best place to watch the first half, was up on the balcony, with his better half. I think he may have been apologising for persuading her, while romantically dining her at the Wetherspoons the night before, to come and watch the show that was about to follow. Tiffs started very bright, with incredible play down the wing, crossing the ball into the middle of the box. The first 20 minutes of the game saw Tiffs hold nearly all of the possession, and incredible chances created, but sadly, they couldn’t find the breakthrough and the opening goal. What I believe many hadn’t noticed, was that Glyn started the game with 10 men, which only became apparent after 20 minutes when an 11th man jogged onto the pitch… That would explain the tiffs strong start. From that point on, the possession stats flipped, and the chances for Tiffs dried up. The less said about the rest of the first half the better. Two errors; A Robini misplaced pass back, and a Rose dropped catch from a corner, meant Tiffs went in at the halftime whistle 2 down.

An arousing rousing team talk from Captain Kimber et all, and the good guys were pumped up to go back out for the second half. Fuse managed to bring himself down from the balcony, and despite protests, found himself on the pitch for the second half.

Tiffs once again started the half strong, with the changes of formation, and a drive to start using the wings again, they found their feet. The best chance for the guys in purple, materialised quickly into the second half. Some neat passing from right to left, found the ball at the feet of fullback-turned-striker Goodings just inside the box. Minutes passed as he took a touch, looked up at the keeper, swung back his odd left boot, struck the ball, and rattled the crossbar… Still 2-0. Nothing much to report for the next 10 minutes to be honest.

As always, as Tiffs seemed to have played themselves back into the game, the opposition upped theirs. A slick passing move, followed by a cross, found an on-rushing striker at the back post, who guided home on the volley the ball. 3-0. Shortly afterwards, Glyn won a corner. This was floated up to the big man at the back post, over a stranded Rose who came looking to make up for his earlier drop. The big number 12, calmly headed into an open goal. 4-0.

Lots of cries from Kimber, and shouts of the impending lockdown, seemed to lift the Ts, who once again went looking for a consolation goal. Two crosses found their way into the Glyn box, the first dropped by their keeper, but cleared by a defender. Hucks smelt blood, and as the second cross came in, he went swimming around the keepers feet, who once again dropped the ball. Hucks toe poked it into the back of the net, and gave Tiffs something to take into lockdown 2.0.

Full time 4-1.

Tiffin took the opportunity to share one last moment together, and talk about what training they will be doing during the down period. I’m not sure anything was ever agreed. The usual post-match activities occurred. Fee’s collected, fines noted, and Gledhill calling his girlfriend to tell her he’s okay and no one kicked him. Much to work on during lockdown, to hopefully go again, when the league returns.

Keep well, stay safe, and hopefully see everyone in the not too distant future xoxox


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Jordan Owusu-Adu