OTFC Is v Sinjuns Grammarians IIs (H)

31st January 2015

OTFC Is 3 - 1 Sinjuns Grammarians II

Result: OTFC Is 3-1 Sinjuns Grammarians IIs

Goal scorers:

K. Olivares Whitaker


T. Wightwick


An agitated Seb Rose, still seething about the lack of apology proffered in the match two weeks previous, led the pumped up T’s into a bottom of the table clash against Sinjuns, with both teams desperate to grab three points and move closer towards safety, away from the murky, desolate despair that lingers in the division below.

Ts met a stumbling block even before kick off, Steve Goodings displaying the ill effects of a late night spent in the bars of south-west London, and had to be relegated to the subs bench, but continued to show his support from the sidelines, making it obvious that he wouldn’t be fulfilled unless he was part of a pounding that afternoon.

Starting sharply, Ts pressed hard, working the ball down the wings in the hope that the pre-pubescent Bruno could deliver something magical to Methuselah himself, Dave Harry. Continuing to utilise the wide expanse of the Old Tiffs pitch, Sinjuns were stretched, unable to deal with the erudite passes played at ease by the Ts midfield.

‘Snake hips’ Osborne upfront was causing additional problems, and sidestepping his way past the last defender found himself with a clear run-in on goal, only to be foiled by the 30 yards of empty space in front of him – with no one to shimmy past his legs simply refused to move.

But still the Ts pressed on and were soon to take the upper hand. Jon Youl out wide whipped the ball into the box, aiming for his body double James Matthews. The ball took a deflection off an unfortunate Sinjuns toe and into the net. Matthews attempted to claim the goal, declaring that it deflected off one of his sizeable mammaries. The ref had none of it. An own goal gave Tiffs the lead.

Soon the Ts grabbed another! From a smart corner taken by Mr Tumnus, Keiran bundled the ball in. The fan went wild. Two nil up and dominating the game, Ts grew in confidence, even once daring to pass the ball along the defence.

Every so often, in the quagmire of Old Boys football, something beautiful happens. Something beautiful was to occur today.

With the ball resting in the Sinjuns keepers’ hands, collected from yet another Old Tiffs heave, it was then launched down the pitch and via a flick from a Sinjuns head found itself at the feet of Tom Wightwick. Options were limited. Should he pass to the left back James Matthews, or should he pass to the second left back Joe Matthews? Maybe a ball to the follicly challenged John Owens, or maybe to the follicly challenged Tom Ridgeway? Perhaps a through ball to the follicly challenged Pete Osborne? None of these options were pursued. Instead, showing the grace of a young Darcey Bussell, Wightwick gathered the ball under control and in one smooth, sweeping motion sent the ball flying back up the pitch. With the Sinjuns keeper still off of his line, Wightwick already knew the outcome. His awe inspired team mates watched as the ball soared into the net. With the goal of the season competition decided at that very moment (Editor’s note: debatable) Ts took an unassailable 3-0 lead.

The half time team talk concentrated for the need to be solid and not let the opposition back into the game. Within two minutes of kick off Sinjuns scored a goal. The Sinjuns forward pulling off a smart finish past Seb Rose, although with Valentine’s Day fast approaching the team wondered if Seb’s mind was too pre-occupied with his special plans for Hannah, and not on keeping the ball out.

The Old Tiffs team of last season would have capitulated, but with a renewed sense of belief the purple heads remained in control of the game and picked up a vital three points.

Come on you Ts!